Asking the time

[robinturner]

More from McCaughy's book:

Quigley [a self-defence instructor] first instructs women to take on an assertive posture in daily life. She suggests that a woman mark a man with her eyes, avoid answering men who ask what time it is, and not to worry about being polite to them."

Is asking the time in America some kind of a come-on? Maybe I'm naive, but in both Britain and Turkey I've had lots of women ask me for the time, or a light or whatever, and it never occurred to me that they had designs on my honour; I had innocently assumed that the same applied in reverse. OK, asking a question like that can sometimes be a prelude to a chat-up, though for that purpose they're almost as corny as "Do you come here often", but I'd be seriously worried about living in a society where it inevitably meant that, or was a prelude to mugging or whatever.

Comments

[tristan-moore.livejournal.com]

in some places it is, but in self defense, we've never been told to avoid this kind of stuff except in odd situations like.
For instance
a dark alley.

[solri.livejournal.com]

That's reasonable - in a dark alley I'd avoid anyone and anything.

[chippiex.livejournal.com]

Once I saw seedy fellow in NYC who revealed within his eyes his plan to start some sort of trouble with me. I asked him the time his weird look went away as he set upon the task of answering my question. Maybe he had no ill intentions but my gut said that there was and I find that turning a situation quickly to something innocuous seems to change the path of events slightly.

[chr0me-kitten.livejournal.com]

what's the publication year of the book?

[solri.livejournal.com]

1997, though the overall style is reminiscent of the late 80s.

excuse me please .. could you tell me the time ?

[kesey.livejournal.com]

a former co-worker who was once a cab driver in NYC (back in the 70's +/-) kept a pack of smokes handy even though he didn't smoke - because it was well known that if someone (in some parts of the city) "hit you up for one," - you better fork one over or it could get ugly very quickly! this is insanity, of course, but no one ever said these street vermin had all of their marbles anyway. that was a long time ago, and things have changed to a large degree (from my own experience). the violent crime rate in the area has dropped to match my subjective experience - dropped a LOT - but that still does not make NYC a "safe" place to be in general ...

the last time i was asked for a cigarette where it might have led to trouble was in '93 in chicago. it was nearly 01:00. there were three of us walking down a deserted street very close to the sears tower, heading back to our car parked in a lot. i was the only male, however. one of the two women with me was more "street wise" than i will probably ever be, and it was her assessment that we were being sized up for a mugging while i gave this tall 'kid' in a basketball varsity jacket a cigarette .. one thing that she noticed that i was oblivious to was this kid's friend across the street (!) nothing happened, so we guessed that they thought it wasn't such a good idea anyway. of course, i will never know their actual intentions.

it seems to me that asking the time or for a light is a probable delaying/sizing up tactic for a potential mugging - anything like that. for one thing, they get to see if your timepiece is a Casio or a Rolex .. if your lighter is a Bic or a fancy gold refillable ...

the whole thing "creeps me out" and is one of the reasons i can do without urban life (given a choice) completely.

about 1980, the "National Lampoon" people made a fairly obscure movie entitled "Disco Beaver From Outer Space." it was a knock-off of the concept used in the older movie "Groove Tube," where we are sitting watching bits and pieces of different 'things' as if changing the channel on a television. in 'disco beaver,' we kept returning to a fairly simple skit involving an Indian immigrant who has just arrived in New York City. He keeps shuffling up to people, saying:

"Excuse me please, could you tell me the time ?"

and the response is invariably (true NYC style here) simply:

"Fuck off."

Each time, his sense of politeness unshaken, he replies with

"thank you very much"

as he shuffles off into the dark streets. In the final scene, someone surprises us and tells him

"no, i can't .. but here's a dime .. why don't you use the phone ?" (wow, a dime? that dates it!) ... so our Indian friend calls the operator, asking:

"Excuse me please, can you tell me the time, or should I just fuck off?" .. a pause, then: "thank you very much."

no idea if he got what he wanted, but i suspect he did not.

This movie was an irreverent and politically incorrect satirical jab at the times that I highly recommend, if you can find it. Not for those easily offended, mind you - but entertaining for those with a sense of humour ;-)

[asteriskhere.livejournal.com]

Funny, it's usually girls who ask me what time it is, maybe because guys know that when they ask a girl if she's got the time it typically means he's trying to hit on her. I think that if you're sitting on a bus and someone asks the time it's usually sincere, because they're on their way somewhere obviously and want to know if they'll be late. But when it happens as you're walking down the street and a guy tries to stop you to ask the time, in that case, I'd say don't stop to tell him.

[ex-fauxpas266.livejournal.com]

When I went to a safety lecture at the orientation for my university, we were told that a common tactic of muggers was to ask for the time, and while you were looking at your watch they would grab you and do whatever bad things they had in mind. So we were advised not to give people the time if we were walking alone at night.

[solri.livejournal.com]

That's where peripheral vision comes in handy.