robinturner | Linguistic Distractions

Having a background in linguistics can sometimes be a pain in the neck. As Lynne Truss, in Eats, Shoots and Leaves, points out, an obsession with linguistic correctness can make you an irritable nitpicker who finds it hard to control their urges to paint out superfluous apostrophes on signs. I'm more inclined to react to semantics than punctuation, though. For example, I was in a shoe shop (which was bad enough in itself) and they were playing Darkness’ “One Way Ticket to Hell and Back”. I wanted to scream “YOU CAN’T HAVE A ONE WAY TICKET TO HELL AND BACK! IF YOU COME BACK IT’S A RETURN TICKET!

But even when such attention to detail does not result in word rage, it can still be very distracting. One of my favourite songs is Sophie B. Hawkins’ “As I Lay Me Down”, but I am distracted from the soothing lullaby-like effect by wondering whether “That you will hold me dear” is actually “That you will hold me, dear.” Before long, I won t be able to listen to a song unless it comes with tree diagrams to help me parse it.