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[personal profile] robinturner
My wife has a wonderful ability to mishear songs in such a way that they are actually improved. For example, the other day, while Fort Minor’s “Where’d You Go?” was playing on the radio, she asked, “Why do they keep singing about chewing gum?”

“What’d you mean?”
“You know … ‘I miss you so, seems like it’s been for ever, chewing gum.’”

I therefore responded with some scepticism when she asked me to search the Internet for a song entitled I Wish I Was a Prawn Cracker. Nevertheless, I dutifully typed the phrase into my search engine, and got nothing, thus proving that it is still possible to think of a sentence that isn’t archived in Google. Ever mindful of the subjunctive, I tried “I Wish I Were a Prawn Cracker”, with the same non-result.

Then a song came up on the radio: I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker. Aha. I vastly prefer “prawn cracker”, though. I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker is a nice little ditty, but it’s also rather silly; it would be improved by being made into an overtly silly song, and prawn crackers would do the trick. After all, a prawn cracker is about as likely as a punk rocker to be decked with flowers.

The main silliness in this song, however, is that not only does Sandi Thom conflate two cultural decades (1965–1975 and 1975–1985), she also seems to think that the second one was a glorious time—“Bliss it was in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven,” and all that. To move from Wordsworth to the Sex Pistols, “Bondage Up Yours!” I was a teenager in the late ’70s, and believe me, they were crap.

Sure, “music really mattered” then. It mattered so much that listening to Genesis rather than Crass was social death. It tried to matter so hard that playing a diminished seventh was politically incorrect. It mattered so much that feminists refused to listen to rock because it was “sexist”, and chose instead to listen to reggae and soul. Heh.

It is also true that “record shops were still on top”. This meant that if you were a musician, you couldn’t just podcast your songs to anyone who would listen, you had a choice of crawling to A&R men from the big labels or trying to make sure your music (and hairstyles) mattered enough that some indie company would take you on. And contrary to popular belief, vinyl was not a good thing, at least not after the record companies started making records using recycled vinyl, which ensured that after a few playings, the sound quality was about that of a bootleg cassette (kudos to ECM and Deutsche Gramophon for resisting this trend).

Oh well, never mind the bollocks, it’s still a nice tune. I guess I’m just part of that “world that doesn’t care.”

Date: 2006-06-27 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vret.livejournal.com
The Archive of Misheard Lyrics

It wasn't only once punk started.

I'd get a size-6-rugby in my face
For not liking games that much or being out of place
Or get my head kicked in for liking Yes
Instead of Suzi Quattro, or The Rubettes

The Sun In My Eyes - Andy Tillison

Date: 2006-07-02 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solri.livejournal.com
Nice one!

I still think of Andy whenever I watch something like Star Wars:
Sound effects a-go-go
Although there's no sound in space
And on every planet you land on
There's an English-speaking race.

Date: 2006-06-27 04:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asteriskhere.livejournal.com
A prawn cracker with hair??? :-) Funny.

I don't like that song!!!

Date: 2006-06-27 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alsoname.livejournal.com
Awww!!! You just dissed my adolescent taste in music! (Though even then I knew that the Sex Pistols were crap.)

A part of me feels very hurt. A part of me I haven't heard from in a decade.

*goes to dig up X-Ray Spex reissue CDs*

Date: 2006-06-27 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solri.livejournal.com
A few good bands came out of that quagmire: Talking Heads, Patti Smith, Blondie, the Police, and so forth. There were others that seemed pretty cool at the time, but don’t stand up to re-listening, like the Tom Robinson Band (nice politics, but a voice made for the stands) or—dare I say it?—Siouxie and the Banshees.

Date: 2006-07-01 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alsoname.livejournal.com
Well, I'm still embarrassed that it took me a couple of years to figure out that Crass were total crap. I think Siouxsie and the Banshees had a few good songs, though. Their Beatles cover holds up nicely, according to me. Of course, it's a cover.

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Robin Turner

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