Snuff movies

[robinturner]

Although my nicotine cravings have been steadily decreasing, today I had several big ones. I have a tin of snuff on hand, rather like AA members keep a bottle of booze in the house. First stage - I opened the tin and smelt the snuff. Actually, it smelt rather disappointing. I can see how the smell of a fine wine or a good single malt might drag someone of the wagon, but snuff didn't do it, so it was back to my Buffy DVD.

Second stage - I went downstairs to get some more of that good old Black Bush (you don't expect me to give up all addictive substances at the same time, do you?). Coming back, I get hit by a 6.3 craving on the Marlboro scale. I take a pinch of snuff, put it in that sexy little crease between my fingers and raise it to my nose.

I stop, and dash it away (actually, that's an exaggeration - I put it carefully back in the tin, as wouldn't want to get snuff all over the place). Now comes the point that gives me cause for concern. I have no problems with the idea that when avoiding a substance which some psychologists have reckoned is almost as addictive as heroin, I might occasionally be tempted to indulge in it. I'm giving up smoking because I think it might be good for my health - it's not like I've taken a Magickal Oath or anything. No, what worried me was the feeling I got when I dashed - OK, carefully wiped - the snuff away.

I felt a triumph of the will. I don't mean nice Thelemite "Every man and every woman is a star" True Will kind of thing, I mean Leni Riefenstahl. For a few milliseconds, I actually felt superior to all those degenerate Jewish Bolshevik Slavic Homosexual nicotine addicts.

I will take some snuff. Not because I want to now (the craving passed some time ago) but because pride destroys compassion. I could go on about my ambivalent attitude to compassion, but it is enough to say that for me it the reverse of nicoteine: something I hate but value, as opposed to something I love but do not value. It's a bummer, because it will set back my detoxification by a few days, but it is better than feeling self-righteous.

Then it's back to some righteous Buffy!

Comments

[solri.livejournal.com]

I passed the will test, but got worried so took it again and deliberately flunked it. Health is good, but can be a foil for things that aren't good.

My ambivalence about compassion is because it hurts (by definition). It also, ironically, makes me hate people, because I have to feel their suffering. On the other hand, it's a necessary part of being a sentient being, so it's not like I would want to get rid of it. Ergo, ambivalence.

[solri.livejournal.com]

The pity/sympathy/empathy distinction is interesting from a linguistic point of view. "Pity" displaced an earlier word "ruthe" (which was related to "rue" and now only survives in the negative, "ruthless"). It came via French and was related to Latin "pietas". I'm not sure when "sympathy" came in (I would guess the renaissance). This originally meant "having the same feeling" (as the etymology would suggest) but gradually took over a lot of the territory of "pity" because people like to give the impression that they not only feel sorry for you, but that they feel your pain as well.

This kind of semantic inflation led to "sympathy" losing some of its edge, so from the 1970s onwards we saw a popularisation of "empathy", a word which previously had been used in a fairly specialist sense to mean having an understanding of another person's emotions. So now we are getting to the point when "empathy" means "sympathy", "sympathy" means "pity" and "pity" is often used to mean something like "contempt".

Health as a foil

[solri.livejournal.com]

I still haven't worked this one out properly. I suppose the main danger is seeing health as a virtue rather than a benefit: "I am healthier than you; therefore I am better than you."

[circumambulate.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. Few creatures more self-righteous than an ex smoker. :)

Have you seen any Firefly? The series is out as a box-set, now. A good alternative to Buffy, for your Whedon fix.

[solri.livejournal.com]

I've not seen any Firefly. Since Buffy has now finished in Turkey, I wouldn't be surprised if Firefly starts in the Autumn season.

[circumambulate.livejournal.com]

Possibly - it was quickly cancelled, in the US, though. I don't think they even aired all of the episodes. You can get the whole series as a DVD collection - well worth the rental.

[bram.livejournal.com]

The Nazis were bad news all around. Even Leni.

Here's my little kludge for not letting the act of breaking tobacco addiction turn you into a goose-step marching murderous thug:

Liberally sprinkle Yiddish terms into your tale of addiction and recovery.

Oy vey, what I wouldn't give for a good smoke! But no, I'm going to be a mensch--not an ubermensch mind you, God forbid we should have more of those--and stay away from that ferschlugener weed!

[trochee.livejournal.com]

*laughs out loud*
which ferschlugener weed did you have in mind?