Totally biased survey

To add to the questionnaire plague, here is my low self-esteem questionnaire:

1. Which Lord of the Rings character do you most resemble?
(a) Sauron
(b) Saruman
(c) Gollum

2. Which Star Wars character?
(a) Darth Maul
(b) Jabba the Hutt
(c) One of those anonymous guys in white armour who get carved up with a light sabre.

3. Who was the last person you ...
(a) lied to?
(b) stole from?
(c) were unfaithful to?

4. The last time someone told you how beautiful you were, you were ...
(a) a baby.
(b) at a masked ball.
(c) in a brothel.

5. Your clothes are ...
(a) expensive but unfashionable
(b) cheap, but still offensively flashy
(c) hard to fit yourself into.

6. The last thing you wrote on LiveJournal was ...
(a) a piece of self-indulgent whining.
(b) a desperate attempt to write something witty that would make people add you to their friends lists.
(c) a stupid questionnaire.