Predictions for 2005

[robinturner]

• Rumsfield finally goes a bridge too far by landing American paratroopers in Arnhem, thinking that it is in France.
• Religious fundamentalists win a landslide majority in the Iraqi elections. Bush praises "faith-based organisations."
• Microsoft is fined $50m by the EU. Bill Gates tells his secretary to fill up the petty cash box.
• Following hot on the trail of homo floriensis, paleontologists discover fossilised orc remains. Texas school boards ban The Lord of the Rings as "evolutionist propaganda."
• The US consititution is amended to allow citizens born abroad to run for president, but only if they can bench-press 500 pounds.
• Alan Greenspan proposes using the peso as a reserve currency.
• Tony Blair continues his "honesty is the best policy" policy, and admits that reports of the existence of Santa Claus were "exaggerated".