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2012: Doomsday
Wednesday, April 6th, 2011 12:17 amI've just watched 2012: Doomsday by mistake, thinking it was the better known 2012. I hear 2012 was disappointing, but it is fair to say that the version with added Doomsday is the worst apocalyptic film ever, and this in a micro-genre that is dominated by bad films. I have to admit that I was biased from the start, given that I consider all the 2012 prophecy stuff to be inane babbling by New Age airheads. What amazed me was that they actually managed to make it even more stupid by Christianizing it. How do you Christianize a Mayan prophecy, given that the Mayans were a bunch of heathens who practiced human sacrifice and in any case were so bad at foretelling that they made a whole load of prophecies up to the year 2012 while completely failing to mention that their own civilisation would be wiped out long before that? Easy—you start with an archeologist finding a gold crucifix in a Mayan ruin that proves the Mayans not only practiced Christianity centuries before the Conquistadores arrived but also had Catholic-style art.
Even that I could have passed over if the rest of the film had been full of spectacular special effects, but all we got was about ten seconds of cheap CGI cliches like Big Ben falling down and the Dome of the Rock caving in. Everything else was about the personal road to Jesus of the utterly uninteresting characters rather than the billions of people who were out there dying just so they could have their little epiphanies. Well, that and the Second Coming, with Jesus being born in a Mayan temple. You'd think having tried it once, he'd have passed on the whole birth experience this time, but no, we had to have the modern Mary groaning all through the film. In my case, it was groans dubbed into Turkish, which you'd think would be the same, but actually sound worse. Yes, they were actually showing a crappy Christian propaganda film on Turkish TV. Full marks for religious tolerance, zero for taste, with penalty taste points for showing a film about the world ending in a welter of earthquakes and tsunamis at this particular point in time.
Even that I could have passed over if the rest of the film had been full of spectacular special effects, but all we got was about ten seconds of cheap CGI cliches like Big Ben falling down and the Dome of the Rock caving in. Everything else was about the personal road to Jesus of the utterly uninteresting characters rather than the billions of people who were out there dying just so they could have their little epiphanies. Well, that and the Second Coming, with Jesus being born in a Mayan temple. You'd think having tried it once, he'd have passed on the whole birth experience this time, but no, we had to have the modern Mary groaning all through the film. In my case, it was groans dubbed into Turkish, which you'd think would be the same, but actually sound worse. Yes, they were actually showing a crappy Christian propaganda film on Turkish TV. Full marks for religious tolerance, zero for taste, with penalty taste points for showing a film about the world ending in a welter of earthquakes and tsunamis at this particular point in time.
