How to beat the economic crisis

I've just been reading a post on Zen Habits on how to cut your budget and beat the economic crisis. It has some sensible ideas, but I really don't think it goes far enough, so I'm sharing my own tips on how to "do more with less".

Walk, don't drive

We all know cars are bad for the environment and your budget. Sell your car (if there's anyone who still has enough cash to buy it) and walk everywhere. OK, it might take you three hours to get to work in the morning but think how fit you will be! Walking barefoot is even better—shoes are a major drain on your finances (especially if you like Manola Blahnik) so rather than wearing them out, develop some fashionable calluses instead.

Walk, don't fly

Cutting down on business and holiday travel is a great way to economise, but you don't have to give up your Wanderlust: walk round the world instead. OK, unless you live at one of the poles, that's impossible because of the oceans, so for your next holiday, walk to the end of whichever land mass you're on, then walk as far as you can in the opposite direction, then, if you are still alive and capable of walking, walk home. By the time you get back, the economic crisis will probably be over. Leave your children with relatives (or Social Services) while you do this; by the time you return, they will be grown up and will no longer be a drain on the family finances.

Spend more time on the Internet

If the last suggestion seems to radical, just stay at home. If you can read this, you are probably paying for Internet access, so get the most out of your subscription. If you spend all your free time on-line, that means you won't be wasting money eating out, going to bars, watching movies and so forth. You'll probably spend less on food too, since you can just snack at the computer; you won't notice what you're eating, so you may as well eat the cheapest junk you can find.

Sell stuff on e-bay

While your spending all that time on-line, use it to de-clutter. With your new lifestyle, you don't need any more furniture than a computer desk, a chair and a bed, so sell the rest. I was also about to suggest selling those comics that have been sitting in boxes since the 1980s, but some sacrifices are too great even for these hard times.

Sell your house

Now the housing market has collapsed, you probably won't get a lot for your home, but every little bit helps. If you finally get bored with the all-on-line lifestyle, you might consider living on the street like so many other Americans. When the economy finally takes an up-turn, your new mobile lifestyle will give you a competitive edge.

Start a new business

It may sound like madness to start a business in these cold economic climes, but remember that whatever the Dow Jones says, there is always a market for crack cocaine.

Relocate

Some countries still have functioning welfare systems. Consider stowing away on a ship.