LJ Time Tunnel

Here's a new thing to do when you're bored. Open your own LJ, click "Previous", then change the number in the URL after "skip" to something random. Scroll down until you see something you like and post it as though you were twittering. Repeat as desired and watch your life flash before your eyes.

skip=100

Just those first lines are enough to put you off reading a book. "When Chandys arrived in London, it was with the hope of entering Art School, finding a lover and eventually hosting her own exhibition." That's YOU, that is. You should have stuck to painting, you silly twerp.

skip=150

Scanning texts and editing out the numerous resulting errors is not my favourite pastime, but it does sometimes give me cause for puerile delight; e.g., "When the Enemy returned our folk were driven from Ithilien, our fair domain east of the River, though we kept a foothold there and strength of anus."

skip=200

Infected inter-office memos you have to read them they're from your BOSS after all and he could really be the widow of an African dictator who wants to impeach the president, so get that evaluation in by the deadline. "The end of the line," he continued, pouring sherry from a jade decanter stolen in Singapore, "is at the end of every line of communication." "True," I replied and plugged him with my .455 Webley automatic (only automatic revolver ever made, there are ratchets not available in retail stores only online). The doctor has any meds for your girl's pleasure.

skip=250

Last night I tried to do a Native American hoop dance. On stage. In front of about a thousand people. Pathetically.

skip=300

I really don't want to hate George Bush, because I don't want to hate any sentient (or in this case, semi-sentient) being.

skip=350

I mean if I were chatting up someone and she said she was into yoga, I'd think "OK, at least she's flexible," but if she then started going on about how her Native American spirit guide had taught her to communicate with dolphins by attuning herself to the vibrations of crystals, I would go to the loo and crawl out of the window.

skip=400

my @known = qw/"I love you" 1+1=2/;
my @not_known = qw/history biology "a science book" "the French I took" geography trigonometry algebra "slide rule"/;
if (/"you love me" | "this one could be you"/){$world = "wonderful"}