How British am I?

This is going around ....

Waited for forty minutes in the rain for a bus and then two come at once.
Of course. That is a fundamental law of physics.

Fought someone bodily for the last packet of butterscotch Angel Delight in the convenience store.
We don't have convenience stores in Britain. But I have fond memories of Angel Delight.

Failed to find Last of the Summer Wine at all amusing.
Actually, I thought it was pretty funny. The fact that I habitually use words like "actually" and "pretty" is probably also an indication of Britishness.

Danced with delight the morning after a general election.
You're kidding.

Shouted at Radio 4.
What is there to shout about?

Bought Marks & Spencer's underwear.
Of course. Whenever I go back to England, I stock up on M&S underwear.

Made bubble and squeak.
Yes. Since bubble and squeak is any leftover vegetables glued together with flour, an egg and anything else you can find, it's a pretty universal dish.

Complained about the weather.
Yes, but only about Turkish weather.

Stood in the doorway or by the window gazing out at rain/snow/hail as though it were a new phenomenon.
It's not a new phenomenon, but I still enjoy staring at it.

Tried to use a public loo and been forced to walk out again and cross your legs till you got home due to sheer disgustingness of same.
No, but I have a strong stomach.

Had a Hornby train set.
I was more of a Triang guy, though eventually they merged.

Said 'ah well, mustn't grumble'.
That was a catch-phrase in the house I shared. We'd see something appalling on the news, like imminent nuclear war, and say "Oh well, mustn't grumble!"

Honestly believed that Marmite is an actual foodstuff.
It is more than a foodstuff, it is a way of life.

Thought that cider was a girlie drink and only realised the error the day after, when that whole hideous karaoke striptease incident comes flooding back and you realise you're wearing someone else's pants.
There are two types of cider. There's the fizzy stuff that is for girlies and alcoholics (because it's cheap), then there's the real stuff, that can leave you hallucinating the day after.

Made Heath Robinson-esque sculptures out of Meccano.
Proabably, but only through incompetence.

Used leaf tea, warmed the teapot, and put the milk in last.
Of course. Who would put the milk in the teapot?

Been taken to 'The Nutcracker' as a Christmas treat.
No. The only good Tchaikovsky is the 1812 Overture.

Taken ballet lessons.
I'm a BOY!

Been to a panto.
I have vague memories of this, but on the other hand, I could have been abducted by aliens.

Read Noddy books as a child.
One or two, but he wasn't one of my favourites. My favourites were the "Adventure" series by Enid Blyton (Castle of Adventure, Island of Adventure etc.), Malcomlm Saville, Tolkien, historical novels by people like Mary Renault and Rosemary Sutcliffe, Joan Aiken, the "Five Children and It" stories and so on.

Had riding lessons and joined the Pony Club.
No, we weren't rich.

Watched 'Blue Peter'
Of course. Lesley Judd triggered puberty in me.

Know that 'Dr Who' had an existence prior to his incarnation as Tom Baker.
Are you kidding? Tom Baker wasn't bad, but he couldn't follow Patrick Troughton and John Pertwee.

Consider 'Blake's 7' the apotheosis of British TV science fiction.
Definitely. I still want Avon's jacket.

Had nits.
No, but I was warned about them, and the school nurse used to inspect us for them.

Seen a performance by Morris Dancers.
There are some things you can't escape ;-)

Been to the Glastonbury festival.
No, but my mother was at the very first WOMAD.

Said 'bollocks' a lot.
Too bloody right!

Played on an old Second World War bombsite as a child.
No - was was born in the country, many miles away from where they dropped the bombs. I always had fantasies about finding an unexploded bomb, though.

Had a father/grandfather who fought in the War but never talked about it.
No - my father was too young and both my grandfathers were too old.

Know that the Second World War started in 1939, not 1941?
Who doesn't?

Have parents/grandparents who remember the Blitz and rationing.
Of course. We have a gas mask tucked away somewhere too.

Been hunt sabbing.
No. I have nothing against foxes, but would not subject myself to physical discomfort and the prospect of violence for their sake.

Played in a children's playground floored with SOLID CONCRETE!
Yes. Scraped knees build moral fibre.

Been stuck on the Tube for more than 20 minutes for no reason that is ever divulged to anyone.
Yes. It's kind of fun.

Gone Christmas shopping in Harrods/Selfridges.
Never lived in London or had enough money.

Bought the Big Issue.
Yes - I do that religiously every time I go home.

Given old clothes/books/stuff to Oxfam.
No, but I've bought a lot of stuff from them.

Been to France on a school trip.
No, only Wales.

Made a crown for a nativity play with old-style Rowntree's Fruit Gums.
Unsurprisingly, no.

Made anything from a Blue Peter programme.
Frequently. I also had a book called "100 Things to Make out of Cardboard".

Carry an umbrella for more than three hundred days a year.
I was more of an anorak type.

Had a parent who stood, most embarrassingly, for local council elections.
No, thank god. Since I was a teeange anarchist, that could have resulted in some pretty ugly family confrontations.

Managed to live in the UK but not visit all of its constituent counties.
Who does?

Been to a foreign supermarket and stocked up on Nutella to a ludicrous extent.
Is Nutella British? If so, it must be after my time. Now if I could get Marmite here ...

Been on a booze cruise to Calais.
Was never able to afford it. OTOH, we had a great Pakistani corner shop that stocked wines and beers that had fallen off lorries around the world. One French wine that I picked up for a pound had real lead on the cork.

Holidayed at the seaside every year and caught crabs in rockpools.
Not every year, as most of our holidays were spent in the hills.

Consider 'Europe' a foreign country.
Yes. It still is, since I'm now in Turkey, only about 5% of which is in Europe.

Were christened CofE, but have never been to church except for weddings, christenings and funerals.
I was never christened, but I went to a CofE primary school and still have a soft spot for it. As Laurence Sterne (novelist and vicar) said: "The great thing about the Church of England is that it places no demands on a man's politics - or, for that matter, his religion."

Had a Sindy doll.
No, but I had an Action Man.

Remember 'Marathon', 'Opal Fruits', 'Jif' and 'Oil of Ulay'.
Of course. I bought a Snickers bar today, and still thought of it as a Marathon.

Consider fish 'n' chips a basic food staple, not a Quaint British Novelty.
Absolutely. This is another thing I pig out on whenever I go home.

Had curry sauce on your chips.
Yes, but I prefer plain old salt and vinegar.

Don't celebrate St Patrick's Day.
Of course not.

Never say "gotten"
Of course not.

Harbour fond memories for the Beano and Dandy.
Naturally. Who can forget Dennis the Menace?

Was a Brownie and then a Girl Guide
Wrong gender. I was a Cub Scout.

Watched Hetty Wainthrope the first time it was shown and thought little Geoffrey was sweet.
I remember the name, but it doesn't ring any bells.

Remember Kathy Gale (Honor Blackman) in the Avengers.
No, but I remember Emma Peel.

Get ALL the jokes in Monty Python.
Of course. My life was formed by Monty Python.

Remember the days when 'Top of the Pops' could make or break a popstar.
Yes, unfortunately.

Travelled from one end of the country (let's say England) to the other in one day and called it a long but do-able journey.
No. I think the longest journey I've done was Bristol to Leeds.

Used a racist term and then paused, waiting for someone to come arrest you for being un-PC.
I think that's more of an American thang. However, I do remember using the word "blackies" when I was about seven and my father getting more angry than I'd ever seen him before.

Cried when we lost the World Cup in football
Yes. 1970, if I remember rightly (beaten by Germany in the quarter-final).