Microphones

I've just been interviewed for the university radio station, which is doing a feature on the foreign staff here. It reminded me once again of the evil effects of microphones. Although I am familiar with these beasts from years of doing TV voice-overs, they still affect me badly. If I'm reading from a script, words fail to clump themselves in the proper way - for example, I recently read "1.8-mm-nozzle spray-gun" as "1.8-mm nozzle-spray gun" - and consonant clusters turn into something like whatever a 1.8-mm nozzle-spray gun produces. If I'm extemporising rather than expectorating, words get lost somewhere between the brain and the vocal chords - they aren't just on the tip of my tongue, they seem to have taken a long detour via my kidneys. Add speaking in a foreign language to that, and the overall effect is like a boxer being interviewed after a fight in which he has had his brain bounced round his skull and his lips turned into a banana split.