Book reviews

I sometimes think my ideal job would be a book reviewer. You get lots of free books, and if you don't like them, then you can just skim a few pages and write something bitchy. I don't suppose anyone will offer me such a job, but for pure self-indulgent pleasure, here are some mini-reviews of books I've read, or failed to read, recently.
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More Book Reviews

My last sally into the territory of the reviewer made me realise that although I thought my reading of real books made from dead trees had gone down since I acquired a free Internet connection, I have in fact read far more books recently than I'd thought. That is, if the word "read" means "opened and looked at a page here and there." So the following reviews are guides to dipping into books by a frequent dipper.

Nigel Chapman: Perl - The Programmer's Companion
Perl is the perfect language for people who want to get a bit of geek credibility but can't be bothered learning real computer languages like C++. It doesn't need to be compiled, so you can program sloppily in bits and pieces and debug as you go along. The syntax is easy and flexible, but its excessive use of punctuation make it look arcane: throwing things like

chomp $_;s/hero/$_/g;

into mailing list discussions for computer newbies will get you l33t status in no time.

Chapman's book is witty and readable (by the standards of computer books). For example: "The use of hashes is limited only by your imagination. (I think I got that the right way round.)"

Jacques Derrida: On Grammatology
Philosophical fashion victims should know that postmodernism is OUT; sneering at postmodernism is IN. Unfortunately, to sneer convincingly at postmodernists, you have to read some of the twaddle that they write, and Derrida is a good place to start. Memorise a few sentences like "Derivative because representative signifier of the first signifier, representation of the self-present voice, of the immediate, natural, and direct signification of the meaning (of the signified, of the concept, of the ideal object or what have you)." Yes, that is a sentence. If, after three beers, you can repeat this without hesitation and say "Now deconstruct that!" in a snide voice, you will impress your friends greatly. Either that, or they'll take you to a karaoke bar next time.

The Koran
In a post-9/11 world, a basic knowledge of Islam is essential, especially for tripping up neoconservative Christians. When they say "Islam is ..." (insert disparaging adjective), a verse of the Koran makes for a snappy comeback.

The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (trans. Edward Fitzgerald, pub. Element)
This is from Element's "Little Book" series, which has embarrassing titles (since they all start "The Little Book of ..."). However, as the name suggests, these books are small enough to fit in your pocket, and the Rubaiyat is great for whipping out when you're waiting for a bus. If any killjoy points out the wild inaccuracy of Fitzgerald's translation, tell them that as a simulacrum - in a Baudrillardian sense, of course - Fitzgerald's translation is the hyperreal Rubaiyat, which has displaced the original work into the Desert of the Real. That'll shut them up.