64

I am trying really hard not to go 64-bit. I know that for the past five years I've been using a 266 MHz CPU (yes, that's megahertz, not gigahertz), and it's only recently that my computer has become intolerably slow. I know that it is unnecessary, and that a 64-bit processor will give me more computing power than I am likely to need in the next decade. I know that a 64-bit processor and a 56K modem is a ludicrous combination, like wearing patent leather shoes with cutoff jeans.

The problem is, when I read those incomprehensible hardware reviews, I just start drooling, despite the fact that this is supposed to be Freedom From Pornography Week. Of course I don't need a 64-bit processor, but if I had one, I'd be the only person on the block with one. I could go round shouting at people "I'VE GOT 64 BITS, NUMBNUTS! YOU'VE ONLY GOT 32, NYAH NYAH NYAH!!"

Of course the only people I know who would understand me would fall into two categories:

1. "I was going to get one, but I heard there's a better one coming out next month, so I spent my money on a GeForce Quatro instead."
2. "What's the point? I've got ten old Celerons hooked up in a Beowulf cluster, and they're faster than a Cray."

This is what happens when you go to bed at midnight, wake up at 2.30 a.m. then start planning your new computer. And I have to go to work in two hours!

Would you buy an essay from these people?

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"Plagerism"?

Just to conform with their request and cite appropriately, I should mention that this is from directessays.com.

Typecasting

I didn't see Desperate Hours when it came out (the year before Silence of the Lambs, I gather). Now I'm watching it on TV, and I keep wanting to yell at Mickey Rourke "What are you doing? This is Anthony Hopkins you're messing with! He bites people's faces off!"