Robin Turner (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
robinturner) wrote2003-10-26 03:44 am
robinturner) wrote2003-10-26 03:44 am
Solri the style fascist strikes again!
Here is the text of a comment I have just posted to the BBC's website.
In terms of factual content, Jon Leyne's article on criticisms of CIA intelligence on Iraq was exactly what a news article should be: brief, informative and (I assume) accurate. In terms of style, though, his use of the word "but" had me gnashing my teeth by the time I finished the article.
As a teacher of writing, I am aware of the danger of artificial stylistic rules, and have long argued against the "rule" that one should not start a sentence with a co-ordinate conjunction. I do so myself frequently. However, starting a new paragraph with "But" can be a jolt for the reader (and as such is often used in fiction to create just that effect). Mr. Leyne's article contains five such paragraphs (out of a total of twenty-two) and even has two consecutive paragraphs starting this way. This case is particularly confusing: is the second "but" intended to indicate another contrast with the paragraph preceding the first "but", or is it a kind of counter-but, negating the first "but" paragraph?
"But" is a fine word; however, there are other ways of expressing contrast.
In terms of factual content, Jon Leyne's article on criticisms of CIA intelligence on Iraq was exactly what a news article should be: brief, informative and (I assume) accurate. In terms of style, though, his use of the word "but" had me gnashing my teeth by the time I finished the article.
As a teacher of writing, I am aware of the danger of artificial stylistic rules, and have long argued against the "rule" that one should not start a sentence with a co-ordinate conjunction. I do so myself frequently. However, starting a new paragraph with "But" can be a jolt for the reader (and as such is often used in fiction to create just that effect). Mr. Leyne's article contains five such paragraphs (out of a total of twenty-two) and even has two consecutive paragraphs starting this way. This case is particularly confusing: is the second "but" intended to indicate another contrast with the paragraph preceding the first "but", or is it a kind of counter-but, negating the first "but" paragraph?
"But" is a fine word; however, there are other ways of expressing contrast.